In pursuit of a lasting union or marriage many aspire to find the ideal wife or husband. The ideal wife based on the socialization of most men is perhaps the woman who gives the appearance that she’s ready for and groomed for such a relationship. She is also seen as the woman who is able to have offspring who will be a model to her children. Not only that but she’s possibly also a very religious and virtuous woman who has not dated many men. A career woman who is successful and is the ideal mate to create a powerful and model union. Maybe one who will even increase his status in life because she is from a good background. And the list goes on and on for the ideal mate.
But what else is there to the relationship. Many men fail to form a happy union because they focus on only some aspects of the relationship when choosing a forever partner. A friend of mine once said he was happy in his relationship with his then girlfriend but she’s not ‘wife material’ and was only suitable as a ‘girlfriend ‘. Fast forward a few years later and he’s in an unhappy and draining relationship with his ‘wife’. Unhappy and draining because he chose a wife and not the girlfriend.
If you should all examine your own circles you would realize that the persons in the happiest unions or marriages are those who chose the ‘girlfriend ‘ and didn’t go seeking a woman who fits the profile of a wife. The saying that ‘opposites attracts’ is perhaps one of the biggest untruth when it comes on to romantic relationships. Opposites may attract but the attraction is usually only temporary. Consequently, characteristics that were once charming and loved eventually become nuisances and then unattractive. For example, one person who is generally a homebody finds himself or herself attracted to someone who is quite the opposite. Consequently, they both end up spending all their time away from their homes enjoying outdoor activities and socializing with others. Now unless this was really a desire of the homebody person prior to their meeting up, this trait or habit will eventually become a bother. This bother becomes a reality when the sheen of always being out becomes uninteresting. So this constant need to go out unfortunately becomes a bother, homebody has had enough and really just wants to stay home and now finds this habit of his or her spouse as annoying and unfulfilling. Or the carefree attitude that one was drawn to is later on looked upon with disdain with the realization that the person has no intention of making major commitments or achieving goals. Will they be able to form a lasting union with such differences? In order to form a happy and lasting union, marry the girlfriend or boyfriend who has made you happy.
Happiness however means that you have things in common and all elements of romantic love are present. In choosing your forever spouse, think about compatibility and the things that are important to you. Your happiness could be in religion, finance, entertainment, sex, sports, politics, fashion, work, fitness, health, etc. An exploration or acknowledgement of what makes you happy could be the key to creating that forever relationship. And if you believe that you’re already in that lasting union with your opposite, you may not be as opposite as you think.
© 2022, Stacy-Ann Campbell. All rights reserved.