So i recently came across a post on a social media platform which suggests that to be totally in love one must feel some sort of madness. I subsequently shared same with a few persons who were quite annoyed at it and believed that it was far from so. Responses received were like “Huh”, “That’s only in toxic relationships” and “Not at all”.
But is it really that far from how people are when they are most in love. If you are to think back to a time when you were most in love, chances are that you weren’t using that much wisdom or had mental clarity. Now this is possible whether the romance blossomed into that lasting and meaningful relationship or ended after the excitement of a new relationship wore off. How alert were you then? What could have caused you to miss some damning personality traits or behaviour cues? How could you have taken certain risks knowing that there could be negative consequences? But then at this stage you are filled with oxytocin (love hormone) and an increase in dopamine (the happy hormone) are present possibly clouding your judgements. Could it be that you were madly in love or as the quote suggests in love to the point of madness?
Psychologist Elaine Hatfield suggested that there are two types of love, one of which is Passionate Love (https://www.verywellmind.com/theories-of-love-2795341). Passionate Love according to Hatfield is compromised of intense feelings, anxiety, sexual attraction and affection (https://www.verywellmind.com/theories-of-love-2795341). This type of love is most common during the earliest stages of a romantic relationship lasting for maybe six months to two years. It is possible therefore that it’s during this period of intense emotions, anxiety and sexual attraction that people become “madly in love” or are in love to the point of madness.
To go a bit further, this period of passionate love could also be termed as the romantic stage of the relationship or the stage of the relationship characterized by infatuation. Also similar to drug addiction and that high that is felt in the first stages, many couples after passing this period of being madly in love and feelings of deep desire are always seeking to get back that high. Only that it’s time to move to the other stages of love and have a more balanced relationship that is filled not only with love but other things such as shared goals and commitment.
What unusual or crazy things do you remember doing during your period of deep passionate love? Were you always acting out of sensibility?
© 2022, Stacy-Ann Campbell. All rights reserved.